Look where you are.. See yourself clearly in this present. Here. Now. The inevitable is upon us, and it is all the encouragement we will ever need.
Time is a strange thing, and what I hate the most is not know what is meant for me, for my family, the world. It is a war inside my head. Would I really do anything if I knew what was going to happen; try not to repeat the mistakes I see or accept them as fate? How fleeting. It is something so surreal this 'time' concept. Spending it and never knowing what's in store, what you cannot change. The startling moment that passes by, duly noted, but never understood. Its like a stream of physcobabble none of it will ever make any sense.. Which I have a feeling that is what I am doing now.. With my inability to sleep. Physcobabble. Because I cannot know a thing. Because I cannot change who I am or what I will become. And I am sure the many great philosophers of 'time' think upon this topic with such ferocity that they too have a war inside them as well.
And it is that exact reason why I, We, cannot know anything of the next minute. Because being supremely faulted all humans would either see to see, but never really do.
But I hate not knowing. The uncertainty eats me away. Etched upon my skin.
2 comments:
Whitney my love,
Yesterday is done with, tomorrow never arrives so today is IT!
I wake-up,and say wow..nothing aches(oh yeah, I am alot older than you)..and then I start my day. To you from the outside I'm sure it seems mundane and ordinary but I have experienced many things in my life that were happy, comfortable, beautiful, hard, difficult, sad, mean, ugly, frivolous, bright, and gray. MOST of the time has been wonderful. The rough spots have given me an inner strength that I didn't think I could possess. When I drive (especially when I drove to Clarkston)I think alot about what will be and what might have been. It humbles me. You are right, the future is not for us to see, all we can do is put as much into each day as we can. The anticipation of a new day and new ideas and new ways to spend your time is so valuable. You are going to be totally fine so don't fret sweetie: EMBRACE. And if thoughts keep you up at night (sleep is not what it's cracked up to be..just ask me)do just what you did on this night..write to your hearts content. Nice tribute to your parents..good insight girl! Love ya lots, aunt dee
Wow! You are an amazing young woman Whitney....Aunt Dee is right you have an great insight...and you too have a way with words. I could not give you any better advice then Aunt Dee has done...she does know just what to say, that is also why she and I have been so close over the years! I love you my darling daughter and will always be here for you!
Love, Mom
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