to mom..

You know you are just as bad as I am at showing how you really feel. You're better at admitting it though. And that is intimidating to me: admitting how I feel. It seems stupid sometimes, that I hate showing emotion. Hate confrontation, because honestly how is any person supposed to deal with it? Cry, yell, scream? Those are good alternatives but they never really fix things, so why do any of them?

They are all outlets for something that is hidden. What are you hiding, I wonder? Your worry? Sadness? Hope?

What you never hide is love. And some how thats the reason why I am not totally fucked up. (pardon my French) Because you love me and have shown me such deep love that I cannot go on without it. And I know it is never faltering, will never go away. It takes no amount of admitting to how you feel, no one has to twist your arm, dig deep into your emotions, sift through feelings. Because it is right there: golden and holy.

and I love you too.