I have been reading lately about Buddhism and forgiving your enemies or people who have hurt you in the past.. this reading of course was all before this incident of ignorance two nights ago. Highly appropriate considering the quandary I was just in... Anyway, "by forgiving someone, we remove unnecessary pain from our hearts" I really believe this. I am not taking anything away from constructive anger--that is useful--but my anger was hindering my day to day: a very destructive anger for me. Anyway today I sat and just laughed, because here was my chance to practice. I made the list in my head that goes like this: (very particular to this instance-and not quite a Buddhist way to list, but just follow).
1. I do not like this person and that is not wrong.
2. It is not my job to be the educator, just the knock on the door.
3. I have the ability to recognize when a situation gets away from me, and control it from that point onward.
4. He is either ignorant or a racist either way he's a douche.
5. I hope he finds the strength to be a better person.
So the last one is the most important. This is the point were I extend an act of kindness-minus some Whitney alterations in the first 4 in the list of course, but you get the picture. I gather this is difficult for some to process. This is the great deal of my quick to forgive quality, because the pain has left my heart and it is no longer burdening my thoughts with hate and malice. And my only job where this person is concerned is not to let him run me down. Anyone really, I do not like being disrespected and that is what at the root started this and by damn I'll finish it, standing among the shreds of my conquest.
In a way.. nobody won, yet no one lost. This is a truce and I feel exponentially better.
Oh.. and as an aside to Tyler's "do more than just feel" bit, please read more carefully (thought I'd never have to say that to you ;) notice I did say that "acknowledgement is the first step" there is of course more than one step sir. And I will do my part for history's sake and the futures as well.
Which leeds me to my next aside: I checked out both those two books you recommended.. they are on their way from another library. And right now I am listening to Bruce: No Surrender, the quite version ...and wow it is very fitting.
Ciao.
6 comments:
I think you reacted appropriately. You should tell me more about that later. I hope we all find the strength to be better people.
Pouring down rain here the past two days (minus right now, there is a cloud break and sun shining). I just got a phone call from the cheif of Campus Safety (it was an automated message) that said that although tornados weren't predicted students were advised to stay inside or take cover in the nearest fortified building...now the sun's gone.
You are one amazing young lady, great processing, good outcome. You are the victor! I love you Whitney girl. :)
BRAVO MISS WHITNEY!!
Wit,
I don't think I've ever heard anyone use quite that phrasing...shreds of my conquest. Personally, I love it. In fact, I'd pay to see it. What we need is a ring, or better yet a cage, tickets to the show and lots of booze so everyone will shout sloppy encouragement you can't understand.
I see victory.
Forgive me if I didn't read your last post closely enough. These days I tend to read in the library between class, and I've always got one eye on the clock. That's hardly an excuse, but there are days I wish I had more time to read carefully and craft more nuanced responses.
Buddhism is a great philosophy, and it will teach you a whole new perspective of viewing the world. I personally favor Taoism, but who doesn't like to rub the Buddha's tummy? Honestly.
My favorite Buddhist saying I think neatly sums up all of Buddhist philosophy:
"If you see the Buddha on the road...kill him."
Perhaps you already understand what it means. If not, ponder it, and get back to me. I don't want to spoil it all at once.
(as an aside, imagine if we had a Juedeo-Christian version of that saying...If you see Christ the Redeemer descending from Heaven, get out your shotgun and take him out!...blasphemous? hmmm...)
Finally, the acoustic version of No Surrender is probably the definitive version. Springsteen has often said he didn't like the message in that song, because he didn't believe that life worked that way (that we never surrender). He believed life was about compromise, and the idea that you could "never surrender" and be the same from youth to old age was naive and misguided.
However, in the acoustic version, he undermines the lyric by the way he sings it. By stripping out the anthemic accompaniment of the band, and by singing from a place of loss and sorrow, he transforms the song into what he really wanted it to be. It's a song about what is lost, the death of our youth, and "no surrender" becomes not a shout against the dying of the light but rather a hollow slogan.
Further, he alters the last few lines, and suggests the one thing that may lead to redemption in face of this loss. Not "no surrender" but rather:
"The lights are growing dim, the walls of my room are closing in /
But it's good to see your smiling face, and to hear your voice again."
Always, with Springsteen, redemption is in other people. Friendship.
Ah! I got to go to class!
Hope you're well.
Ty
Where's my puzzle picture?
whitdog i like the whole forgiveness process honestly the last one was the most meaningful but the four above help the forgiveness :) girl, your smart, and always feels good to let go of anger and just live and love!
Post a Comment