There is a strange finality I have been coming to terms with in the last few days, and I don't know whether to pull my hair out screaming, hide, or throw up. None are good alternatives than just dealing with it. Its at times like these I wish I could have the old times back. Or at least have a few moments with my Dad and talk to him about whats going on. Because somehow I feel that he would be able to tell me what to do. (Or how to f***ing go about it.) I know its something 'we' all go through, but honestly .. I wish I wasn't so scared.
I have seen a lovely loft-studio adjacent to an old Victorian home that looks promising and the guy wasn't kidding it has a stellar rope swing... and there was nothing better than just sitting there floating and not worrying about a damn thing. Well, there are more meetings to come next weekend, with other people and roomies, etc. I'm trying not to let everyone down, even trying for myself, which is most important now.
I know tomorrow when Mom will look at this she'll want to talk.. even more of a reason to find a place soon. Don't worry Mom (or anyone else) I'll be perfectly fine. Know that I love you all and I am going to make you proud.. and yes I already know you are. Cheers.
1 comment:
I really like the idea that you won't be so far away...I know you feel a little scared but remember we (Doug and I) are here for you, plus all of the rest of the family. Yes you are right I am proud of you. You know I think your Dad would tell you to take it one day at a time and remember what is important...time...and time spent with those you love and who love you! Ciao sweetheart!
Momma
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